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Monday, December 19, 2011

Mornings

Blah.  I hate the word itself now.  Just felt like griping this morning.  I don't think I have ever described what my days including mornings are like.  This illness is really destroying the joy I used to get from mornings.  Some people are morning people and some aren't.  I never really claimed to be a morning person but I did used to enjoy getting up early to start my day so that I would be done with my work earlier in the day.  The hemicrania continua has turned mornings into something awful.  I can't just get up and cheerfully start my day anymore.  I set an alarm the night before but when it goes off immediately my head is killing me.  I get up and bring my ice pack back to bed with me, setting and resetting my alarm several times until I finally realize the pain is not going away so I might as well get out of bed.  I make myself some coffee, check my email and then usually get to work.  I work a couple hours until the girls wake up then stop.  Next is breakfast and then school work.  After school work, lunch and chores are done I am back to work late in the afternoon.  Next a break for cooking and eating dinner then back to work again.  Some nights I work until 11:30 or midnight.  People are amazed when I tell them what I do every day with my condition.  They say they don't see how I do it.  I really don't know how, I just keep going.  But that has been my life for quite a while now since I have had this.  I just keep going through life, not necessarily enjoying any of it, but what is the phrase I am looking for?  Ah, yes.  I just keep on keeping on.

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