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Sunday, July 14, 2013

As good as it gets

Yesterday I brought my kids to a birthday party at the skating rink.  I predicted to my husband before we left that I would probably have a migraine by the end of it.  Sometimes I hate being right.  I guess it is the combination of the loud music, flashing lights, noise, etc.  I have been feeling very sorry for myself lately since I have been having so many headaches again recently.  Yesterday after driving home I took Imitrex and basically glued myself to the couch for the remainder of the day.  For some reason I remembered the line from the movie "As Good as it Gets" when Melvin is in the psychiatrist's office and turns to speak to the patients in the waiting room saying "What if this is as good as it gets?"  I feel the same way.  After all the conventional and unconventional therapies I have tried to get rid of or at least decrease the number of my headaches, I feel like I am trapped in this vicious cycle.  Immediately postop after my stimulator implant life was so much better.  I have slowly slipped back into a cycle of nearly constant headaches.  At first I tried pinning it on things such as the weather (which is still a huge trigger for me), certain foods, even being out in the sun too much.  Sadly, the list keeps getting longer again until I am left doubting the list is actually a list of things causing headaches and is actually a list of things I just happened to be doing on the days I had headaches.  I visited my St. Jude rep to adjust the settings on the stimulator and I was prescribed Imitrex, which actually has aborted 2 of my migraines, which I am still thrilled about.  Unfortunately I am still having headaches!!!  I am going back to my surgeon next month for a followup.  Maybe I should ask about Botox again.  Sometimes I think I would like to go to a deserted island for a week but it would be my luck to be stuck on an island full of noisy tropical birds or screeching monkeys!  I just don't want to be the mommy saying "Shh mommy's head hurts" anymore.  Hopefully soon I will find some type of relief.  I guess it's time to do some more research.